What are you scared of? In Halloween month we are surrounded by scary images that we use for fun. Yet many of us are living in fear of real issues that don’t include fake blood and skeletons.
I have spent a lot of my life recognizing and handling my own fears and working to help others let go of theirs. So firstly let us recognize some truths.
Most things you worry about will never, ever happen.
Your fear is a form of protection. If you avoid all things that are dangerous, uncomfortable, or a little scary, your life will likely be safe but very dull.
So what are YOU afraid of? One of the most common fears is what other people think of us.
Is the fear that you will look silly? that people might laugh at you? or that they will figure out that you don’t know what you are doing? Most people are more concerned with their own insecurities, worries and fears. They are rarely worried about what you are doing. Except for internet trolls and people with absolutely nothing better to do, and we are not really worried about their opinion are we? In fact we should have compassion for them. We do however put ourselves in the firing line if we criticize others.
When we watch a movie or a drama series and there is a clearly defined villain. We seethe as they hurt and cheat those around them and cheer when they are eventually exposed and they get their deserved punishment. Well real life is not quite like that. Unless you are behaving like a villain in a bad movie it is unlikely that most of the people are out to get you.
People are generally ambivalent about you and what you are doing unless you are in the public eye or go out of way to upset other people. There are always exceptions to this rule but we can’t pre-empt everything that might happen.
Many of the things we fear have a fabulous upside, if we dare to face them. This infographic has some common fears and alternative ways of looking at them.
Freedom from fear is the biggest gift you can give yourself. By allowing yourself to face that thing that is troubling you, you can live the life you want. You truly can release your fears and live your dreams.
Some of my favorite quotes about fear.
“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.” Louisa May
“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold”.
“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.”
Of course not all fears are easily remedied by a quote or an internet meme. We must change our thinking and recognize where the fears come from. When I work with clients on Breakthrough Sessions they often uncover deep-seated fears that they have absorbed unconsciously often many years before.
Our fears can run deep. Just this week I was looking at some gift bags that were sitting in front of the fire-place. I had this fleeting thought, “They shouldn’t be there so close to the fire.” Let me clarify, we have never in almost 10 years of living in our house ever lit a fire. I’m not even sure it would be possible. You might wonder why I had such a strange thought. I know it came from my Dad. He has always worried about unseen dangers and things that could go wrong. How crazy that I could look at what is basically an ornamental fireplace and have an instinctive fearful reaction to a perceived danger.
My own breakthrough session a number of years ago set me on a better path and I no longer regularly live in fear, yet I have to deal with these things as they arise.
Are you ready to step out and claim your freedom from fear? Tell me what one fear you are ready to slay in the comments.